zookieloli

Green and brown above my head. No hands reaching down for me to grab. Black and red filling my eyes and body. No way to jump higher or gain that one person I'm dying to have. Green and brown is getting farther. No Rachel, you'll never have who you desire.

I've learned to play with my food. Make bridges and paths, a way to cross along the piles. Past the vegetables and pass the meat, all the way to the end of the plate. I'm never hungry anymore.

I'm done chasing you around I'm done pushing up off the ground I'm done being pushed and being slapped I'm done finding excuses to speak another breath I'm done trying to say the right thing I'm done thinking what things are wrong I'm done trying to be worth something to keep I'm done crying every night I'm done with every fucking fright I'm done with myself.

I cried for you, I laid on my back for you, I bent over backwards and turned in ways people shouldn't turn, For. You. I won't say you're an ass hole or you're the reason, I won't say you cut out a perfect broken heart, I won't say you made me pound a fist into my own gut or made me smash my head into the wall. I won't say those things, But thanks.

Life is nothing like a fucking road. There's no sign to point you your direction. I don't see a light telling me when to stop or go. Hell, there's no color telling me to go fast or slow. Life is nothing like a glass of wine. If it is I can't tell if I'm filled to the rim or too low to flow. Life is nothing like they or you say, maybe mine is just not worth staying. Nobody knows.